Believe

While putting presents under the tree last night,

I found a folded up note. On the front it said 'To Santa'.

It had enough tape on it to wrap three presents.

When I opened it I found this.

Well Ella got that American Girl doll and

Aaron wasn't trying to discount Santa today.

I wish I could just stop the clock.

Merry Christmas

I have not blogged in ages. I have proof that I have been busy. But hasn't everyone been busy and they have time to blog, well I can only multi task so much and blogging went by the wayside. I have been decorating...

and decorating...

and being a bit crafty...

and baking, baking, baking (that could be written many more times)...

and trying to get good Christmas card shots.

Here is the winner even though Ella hates it this is it.

There was a Christmas party thrown in there held by yours truly.

So I think I have enjoyed this holiday so far now that I see it in pictures.

I remember it vaguely.

I must go, there is pulled pork to be taken out of the oven and a few more cookies to bake and alot of leftover wine from the party to drink.

I wish you all the merriest of Christmas's.

I hope you are blessed beyond your wildest dreams.

Happy Thanksgiving!

I am in the midst of Thanksgivingmania. I am cooking for twelve. I just baked my pies and started the stuffing, had some wine  and completely lost all motivation to do any more.

On a different note I had to get a Tuberculosis test on Monday so I can get approved to do part time work for my School district. When I went to get my arm checked today to make sure I did not have TB the nurse who looked at it said:

"Oh, your arm is not supposed to look like that.  I'm going to get the other nurse to look at it"

WHAT!!

The other nurse comes by and says

"Hmmm, it looks like a bruise but we may need to get the other nurse to look at it"

By this time I am convinced I have TB and how could I have no recognized the symptoms.

Finally the THIRD nurse comes by and examines me and finally tells me I do not have TB.

So this Thanksgiving I am Thankful that I do not have Tuberculosis.

I hope you all have a great Holiday!!

I also need to thank my Ella for my beautiful Thanksgiving pillow she made in art class. It is my new favorite thing.

 

I'm coming down from my sugar high

What a week. Halloween dance, Candy, Halloween parade, Candy, Trick or Treating, Candy, pass out cold from exhaustion and sugar shock.

When I took the kids trick or treating it really hit me how fast it all goes. Everyone telling you how much they grew since last year. How many more Halloweens will they want me to come with them? Some people like to go in big groups, I just love walking around with them myself. Taking in as much of this special holiday as I can. A holiday where one kid really thinks he is a ninja and the other one feels so pretty when the sun shines on her sequined costume.

It's good to be back?

I did a lot of this over the weekend. Big fat buffets with bacon. I don't eat bacon, but I did this weekend. I barely eat breakfast but this weekend I ate what's in this photo then went up for more. I ate more this weekend than I do in a week, I drank more this weekend than I do in a month. I read a years worth of magazines. I laughed so hard I cried. I am sad it is over.

I came home to a messy, chaotic house with kids who missed me who thought I should have called more. I thought talking to them FOUR times was enough but apparently not.

There were pumpkins that needed carved and that's what was done.

I woke up today wondering who was going to cook me bacon and no one did. The wines gone, the friends went home but I do have some more magazines I can read.

I am a bit sad but alot happy that I had such a great weekend. Maybe next time we can push it to 3 nights. 

Ty missed the boat

Ty Pennington did not hire my husband. Ty did not even make an appearance. The work they told Kurt he was going to do did not appear. He did basic painting and they brought in the LA people to do the other stuff. The only person he saw was the guy with the glasses. When Kurt was leaving after being there for 10 hours, a security guard told him to move over so he wouldn't get into the shot.

So I will not become a wealthy vagabond but I will be going away over the weekend with some girlfriends to a cabin in the woods. There will be lots of wine and snacks and wine and food and wine. Two nights away has not happened in 5 years since I went away for my 40th birthday. I was very excited about this UNTIL I TOLD MY KIDS.

You would have thought I had killed our cat.

Aaron: That's the day of the Halloween parade!!!

Ella: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Aaron: Why don't you just go away for Christmas too!

Ella: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Aaron: Why do you always have to go somewhere?

Me (in my head): WTF!?!?

I have been made to feel guilty for the past week so needless to say I need this weekend even more.

Ty Pennington, hire my husband

Extreme Makeover Home Edition is in Pittsburgh this week. My husband is doing some form of pictorial painting at the house today. He had to be there at 3:30 this morning to start work. Our plan is for Ty Pennington to love him so much that he will hire him and we will be wealthy vagabonds traveling the country changing peoples lives.

At the very least we hope he is offered is own HGTV show. He is fully prepared to shave his chest, get a tattoo and work out. Hell i'll even shave my chest also. Wish us luck!

My son's teacher asked if I could make Aaron a Dr. Silverfish costume from a book called "How to be Perfect in Three Days". Of course I said "Sure, no probem" because I can't say no. I ask Aaron later "What does he look like?"

He says "He has a shirt with palm trees, zebra pants, a hat with 2 feathers, a 1/2 a bow tie and one mitten"

Hmmmm

So off to the thrift store we went.

I had to cut down a 3xxx men's shirt and I markered zebra stripes on white pants.

Have I mentioned I have OCD?

When I took the outfit into school his teacher said "Oh, I told Aaron it didn't have to be exact, I hope you didn't go to too much trouble."

Of course I told her it was no problem, I had most of the stuff. I figured she didn't need to no that for 3 hours I colored in zebra stripes. (Hello, Obsessive Compulsive)

We have also gone pumpkin picking which includes feeding the animals at the petting zoo. I think they must starve them because by the time we got there at 10:30 in the morning they were in attack mode. Ella had a bottle and Aaron had food. The pigs were knocking each other over and then a llama would enter the mix and all Hell broke loose. I got bit by a goat. When we were walking away we heard a blood curdling kid scream I can only assume they lost a body part to some hungry donkey.

This cottage is what I need. Today my hormones are RAGING, I mean RAGING. One or two days a month I NEED a little tiny room to escape from everyone. This is not just for me this is for my loved ones also. No one needs to be around me today. My skin  feels like  an electric current is running through it and anyone who says or does anything is making my body just want to leap out. I am crying at everything. Any blog I have read today has made me sob like a baby. I know this will pass. I know tomorrow I will wake up and the switch will be turned off and I'll think "Whew, I made it for another month" But today I need a cottage like this tucked away from my house.

Or maybe this simpler cement shed where I could soundproof the walls so no one could here me scream.

I could also take a cue from the African women who all gather together when they are having their periods and they all take care of each other. Today the mud hut looks so appealing. So for know I will dream up what my little tiny cottage will look like and cry more tears for no apparent reason.  

EEK!

Ahhh!, it's October already. The chill was in the air today and it was time to get out the Halloween decorations. I finally feel like I got something accomplished. I have been feeling a bit out of sorts.  I got out my Halloween Garland I made last year and it made me realize how much I miss being crafty.

I have made some Christmas garlands for the past few years for a craft show and when I didn't get in last year I stopped.

I think I work better under pressure. 

I have to get in the mind set that it just makes me happy to do it and that

is a good enough reason.

I must pick up the hot glue gun and get my crafty ass back to being crafty.

Adrift at Sea

This is a new painting by my husband. It is an image of me mixed in with drawings from sketchbooks that he did when he was a child. I have to give my husband alot of credit. He can work all day, be a dad when he gets home and somehow muster the energy to paint after everyone goes to bed. I on the other hand think about doing that and end up watching "Project Runway". 

On a different note, I am not sure I will be able to take my kids only going to school half day for much longer. There is constant fighting. I have tried to help out a couple people by having their kids over so they can go to work. This always sounds like a good idea. It is hard to have kids come over at 7:30 in the morning. No one is in the mood to play, all kids have a different morning routine and they don't always like to be flexible. Hopefully we only have one more week but there is no guarantee. I feel fortunate I can be home and I don't have to scramble to find child care.

I was on the 11:00 news the other night. I went to the school board meeting and went up to the podium to speak and thank teachers, administrators and parents for all the hard work they have put into this effort of moving our kids to a different school. I am very tired of the negativity and thought some positive feelings needed to be expressed. After I had sat down a woman from the news tapped me on the shoulder and asked if I could speak to her in the hallway. When I got there they got the camera out. I did not realize it would be filmed. I was asked a lot of questions and again remained very positive. She asked me how this all started and how my kids were coping. I came home and watched the news hoping they would cut this segment. Just when I thought it wasn't going to be on there was me talking. Of course the one sound bite they used was not all the positive things I said about how well everything was going. They went with the rehashing of how this all started. I guess the positive just doesn't go over as well.

Asbestos update

I dislike about 96% of the parents in my community today. Harsh, but true. A community meeting was held last night to talk about the Asbestos problem. A spokesman from the E.P.A. and from the Allegheny health department were there to inform us on the findings. There were air samples taken and swab samples taken. To my relief they came back negative for asbestos.

Thank God my kids are safe and can return to school.

WRONG!!!!!

This was not enough for pretty much 96% of the people in the room.

It seems people are equating the love of their child to how loud they yell.

I must be a horrible mother because I want to send my child back to a school that is deemed safe by the E.P.A. and the health department.

I am aware that no asbestos is safe, but in this scenario once it was found the work was stopped immediately. It is in a form that does not become airborne.

When they take it out in the evenings the roof will be covered. The roof will be wetted down and a saw will be used with a vacuum attached. The debris will instantly go into a sealed bag and be hauled away. Air quality samples would then be taken and posted.

If I lived in the next county over none of these precautions would even be necessary.

Now my kids are home again and next week will attend a different school for 3 hours a day. The students from that area will go for 3 hours in the morning and my kids will go for 3 hours in the afternoon until this clean-up can take place.

I cannot walk to this school. There is no parking. None of the kids are going to know where the hell they are supposed to go. By the time these kids get settled it will be time for me to pick them up.

You know who will be bitching the loudest when there is complete chaos on Monday?

It will be the 96% of parents who wanted this. I know this because I am starting to realize that alot of people are not happy unless they have something to be pissed off about.

Now that I am done ranting, The gentleman from the E.P.A. informed us that all children can be exposed to this. Some brakes have asbestos in them so if your child is next to a school bus they can be exposed at low levels. Also old linoleum tile should not be lifted until you know how it was put down.

No School!!

I just found out there is asbestos in my kid's roof at school. The school board meeting last night was a nightmare. Of course parents were upset but it got to the point that they just wanted to tar & feather someone then run 'em out of town. By the time the night was over we went from the school is safe to the school is closed indefinitely. INDEFINITELY!!! Now my kids are home. We all just got back into the swing of things, the new routine and they are home INDEFINITELY.

I joked with a friend on the phone that I may need to home school and my son ran in the kitchen yelling "NOOOOOOOOO". I think I would be done in before he would.*

*note to home-schoolers : I am in awe, I just couldn't do it myself.

So I am now hoping for a soot free house and an asbestos free school.

Not a happy cat

One of the drawbacks of trying to fix up our back room is all the dust. Black sooty dust. We plastic off the room but somehow a fine layer of black dust gets on everything. Everything includes poor Xena. After cleaning up for the millionth time I noticed her laying in the kitchen with blackness all over her belly and paws. Missy Miss Xena as Ella calls her is 24 lbs. of love who does not enjoy baths (what cat does). Ella finds this completely hysterical and screams with laughter the whole time which doesn't do much for Xena's anxiety. I've got to say it is pretty damn funny to see a cat that looks like it swallowed a bowling ball try to get out of the tub. She survived and is back to her beautiful self.

The first crop

We got to pick our first batch of grapes last night. These are special grapes to us. Kurt's parents first grew them at their home in East Eden NY. We dug some up and brought them to Pittsburgh because Kurt's mom was moving into a retirement complex after his Dad passed away and the house was too much for her.

When I ate some I thought of Kurt's dad making wine every year and how he got better at it each time.

I thought of Kurt's mom's jelly and how we always got to bring some home after weekend visits.

I thought of the grape juice that my kid's would gulp down in grandma's kitchen.

I thought of that scent that you could smell all around Lake Erie when you drive by the Wineries.

I feel so fortunate I can grow this little piece of history in my backyard. 

I'm a general contractor

This is me for the last 3 days and god knows how many more. We have a back room that will eventually be our bedroom so the kids won't have to share a room forever. This is no easy remodel. This is a complete demolition of very old drywall and some form of insulation that looks like many 100's of sheep were sheared to make it. I am unearthing dust from the early 1900's and soot from when this was a mill town. I was hoping to find hidden money or some relic to take to "Antiques Roadshow", but no luck.

I don't do well with disorder and I am getting very cranky. I just had a homework freakout with my son and am not happy with myself. I am going to regroup and dream of a soot and dust free space to relax in.

Happy Anniversary!

Today is our anniversary. 16 years married, 18 together. Kurt and I met at a bar called the "Electric Banana". He was a drummer in a band and my friend Mick hounded me to come out to see them. Begrudgingly I went and when I walked in I am telling you my eyes went right to Kurt. I thought, in my low self-esteem way, he probably won't be interested. We were introduced and and hung out the rest of the night. Our first date was to see The Beatles "Yellow Submarine" where they play movies outside. Afterwards we talked for hours.

About a week or 2 after we met Kurt was coming over to my apartment. As I was waiting I fell asleep on the couch.

The phone rang:

Woman  "Do you know someone named Kurt"

Me   "Yes"

Woman "He's just been hit by a truck up the street" 

WHAT!

I ran up the street wondering if I was dreaming until I saw ambulance lights flashing.

There was Kurt in a fog, sitting at the bus stop with people around him. He had gotten off the bus and crossed in front of it and got hit by a pick-up truck.

We went to the hospital in an ambulance where he found out he had a broken leg and some nice abrasions and a good size bump on his head.

We hadn't known each other very long but from that moment on we were together.

Kurt is funny, sensitive (I think 9 sisters helped with that), an incredible artist, funny, a great dad, funny and so much more.

After 4 moves, 2 kids, deaths of parent, no money and many, many other fabulous and not so fabulous events I can't imagine going through my life with anyone else.

I joke with him that he can't even think of leaving me until our kids are out of the house.

Well I'm not going anywhere either.

I love you honey

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!!

The last day

I thought

"Wouldn't it be nice to do something special for the last day

before the kids went back to school".

Well, I just did not have it in me. I'm feeling a bit blue about the whole thing. 

Thankfully they did not need me for entertainment

They did fine on their own. Lots of giggles and a bit of fighting too.

Well maybe more fighting and less giggling, but they had fun.

The F-bomb

This is a sculpture Kurt did for an art exhibit.

The theme was art made from bowling pins.

We are in the woods the other day. The kids are riding their bikes, Kurt and I are walking. We like this trail because there are a lot of dogs and a dog water area and my kids REALLY want a dog. There were people walking in front of us with a dog on a leash then another guy comes toward them. His dog is not leashed. Well, this guys dog attacks the other dog.  The woman whose dog was being attacked started to scream. When I say scream I mean obscenities were flying. Obviously I can understand why she was upset but for what seemed like an eternity all I heard was:

"Why isn't your fucking dog not on a fucking leash! What the fuck! Get your fucking dog fucking out of here!!!!"

I thing fuck was used about 30 times along with blood curdling screams.

The guy got his dog off the other dog and no one was injured.

My kids were about 10 feet in front of this and we were about 10 feet behind.

My son being the master of the obvious says

"Dad, did you here that?"

At least this made the woman laugh and calm down a bit.

I am not against swearing. God knows I do it myself. Growing up my dad could string a line of obscenities that could make your hair curl. I had no control over that and I am starting to realize how little control I have over my own kids hearing these words.

I have neighbors who fight so loud we hear

"I take care of the fucking kid, the fucking house, the fucking dog, fuck you!"

I catch myself running around shutting windows.

I have a neighbor across the street who has gotten drunk at the bar up the street  and walks by my house screaming  obscenities

My son was down the playground the other day with a friend and when he came home I asked who was down there he said:

"Just some teenagers."

I asked them what were they doing he tells me:

"Hanging around swearing"

When my daughter asked why they were doing that he tells her thats what teenagers do.

I notice around here that IS what teenagers do and alot of other people.

Like I said I am not perfect either. When my son was about five we went to visit my mother-in-law. She is a good catholic who has raised TWELVE children. Really TWELVE. My son was upstairs and clear as a bell he yells 

JESUS CHRIST!

The whole house stopped. He never said that before and he has never said it again.

I wonder when the F-Bomb is going to drop

When are we leaving

The Master Gardening group I am involved in had a picnic on Sunday at a wonderful farm within the city. I thought this would be a great thing for the kid's to see. This was the first one I ever went to because I am a new member. Little did I know I would be the only one there who brought their whole family. Most people came alone and just a few brought their husbands.

Aaron only went because I told him there would be food. He started moaning immediately that he was STAAAARVING and could not wait or he would DIIIIE. We did eat soon and the food was great, for an adult. This was a gardening group. There was lots of great salads and veggie lasagna, things made with grains. Pretty much nothing my kids would eat.

Kurt told Aaron as he was complaining that "It is a big world of food out there"

Aaron's reply "I know, and I am exploring the meats"

So dinner for them was cheese & crackers and enough chocolate and cookies to frazzle a very large adult.

There was heirloom tomato tasting. Again, nice for me, boring for them.

There were chickens to feed which was fun. One breed they had did not have feathers on it's neck. It looked like a chicken head on top of a penis and 2 balls then a chickens body. Frightening.

I think it made the whole picnic worthwhile.

Dance Your Art Out!

Ella went to a dance camp at the Carnegie Museum last week. Lots of fun. The program was called "Dance Your Art Out". They made costumes and learned a dance. At the end of the week there was a dance recital in the Carnegie Music Hall Foyer. It was too cute to see these girls do their dance moves in costumes with masks falling off and pieces getting tangled. Of course Aaron was bored out of his mind. He told me he would only like to see Ella dance if she was on "So You Think You Can Dance". He said he would be older by then and he could watch the "Hot Girls". He does not like girls now but he knows he will later on.  That kid cracks me up.

What Birthday?

Today was my birthday. It started out very nice. Ella is the card queen. She doesn't just make cards, she draws, cuts things out, puts them in envelopes then wraps them in gift wrap with a big bow. If it wasn't for her I would not have known it was my birthday. My husband on the other hand sucks at birthdays. Don't get me wrong he is so good in many, many ways but he missed the gene on how to celebrate holidays. All I ask for on my birthday is cards from my kids and a burnt almond torte from Prantls Bakery. I have had birthdays when I had to buy my own cake because he was working to late or the time my birthday was on a Monday and he didn't realize bakeries were closed on Mondays even though I worked at a bakery and we were NEVER opened on Mondays. Driving back from Buffalo there was even the conversation about how it is Mommy's birthday on Tuesday and I even uttered the words "All I want is cards and a cake".  Yesterday there was no card from my son and NO CAKE! Why, do you ask? Kurt got me a bottle of wine I liked and forgot the cake. HOW DO YOU FORGET CAKE! Every year I make everybody a home made cake and every year I say this behavior will not bother me but I have pretty much had it. My close friends are aware of this and are having a little get together next week for me where I know there will be a Burnt Almond Torte. So for those of you who have had crappy birthdays like me, please stop by.

A 'relaxing' weekend away

This is not how I wanted our weekend away to start. We were half way to Buffalo then out of the blue our car started to act weird. This is the reliable car. This is why we take it on long trips. So after waiting an hour we had an enjoyable tow truck ride with a guy who was working as much as he could so he could be off the weekend to see the Slipknot and Disturbed  concert. We made it to a Ford dealer in Conneaut where we sat for about 4 hours.

All I can say is thank God for television. At first we had to watch Judge shows until all the other customers left and we got control of the remote. Then my kids watched a marathon of Jimmy Neutron. During this time our car was apparently fixed until we drove it and found out it was not. When it was being fixed for the second time we went to a tiny greasy spoon with about 5 tables. The woman next to us was talking non stop about Jesus and revelations and signs coming true. When her grandkids were doing pretend karate she told them to stop because "That's Eastern religion and we don't practice that". I thought at this point my head may explode. Finally we found out our car could NOT be fixed until Monday. We rented a car and got to Buffalo at 9:00 P.M. We left at 11:30 A.M. Needless to say we were tired and cranky and when I say we it was mostly me. It is amazing though how the kid's handled it. They really thought of it as an adventure. They thought the tow truck was cool, TV and air-conditioning, dinner out and a Jeep for our rental which is way cooler than a Ford Contour.

On Saturday We went to the Eden Corn festival. This is a whole long weekend all about corn. There is a corn eating contests and a big parade. There are also all those crazy rides that are brought in by truck and games with scary carnies. The scariest was the guy at the bottom of the fun house slide who was directing kid's which way to go. He never really spoke he just looked at the kid's with a murderous stare then pointed to the direction they should go. If they did not pay attention to his point he would say "Hey" then point harder. I have never come across a meaner or scarier looking man. These kind of carnivals always sound fun until you get there. I saw T-shirts like 'Proud to be a Biker Bitch' and lighters shaped like Penises which had Ella asking me "what's that mommy". We spent way to much money in way to short of  time.

Sunday we saw Kurt's family and finally felt like we relaxed. It has been a stressful month. It was nice to be around family. I just wanted to run away and stay up there. We stopped at Lake Erie on the way home. This makes any trip worth while. The kids actually play together looking for shells and rocks. Kurt and I just take in that great sound of the water and the wind. It almost made me forget my car was spending the weekend away. If we ever have anything resembling extra money I will buy a tiny little cottage near the lake.

Day at the beach

Over the weekend we went to Moraine State Park for a day of canoeing and swimming at the beach. We had canoed last year in one canoe and the kid's loved it. When we were getting our canoes this time the woman said we needed two canoes and looked at us with crazy eyes when we told her we were all together before. So Kurt and Aaron went in one and Ella and I went in the other. I have always been a passenger when canoeing never the paddler. As soon as we got in Ella starting panicking and saying "I don't want to do this! I don't like this!" I knew before she was worried at the beginning but got used to it as we went along. So we followed Kurt until wakes from other boats completely turned me in direction I had know intention of going and the mantra of Ella's "I want to go back" and "Why are we going this way" were starting to make this not the idillic canoe trip I had in my head. So Kurt canoed around this little island with a happy Aaron who thought it was the coolest thing ever. I on the other hand pretty much paddled in circles with a panicky child and practically kissed the ground when we got back.

After the canoe trip we went to the beach to swim. This was great. Any time my kids are are around water and something to dig in it is a good day. 

Beach days are also great people watching days and what should I see but a man with an arrow shave onto his chest pointing straight down to his penis. I looked, then looked again and made Kurt look and yes he had a 'hair arrow' on his chest. He was there with his son and no wedding ring. So ladies this man may be available.

It is hot!

It is about 150 degrees and humid with no air conditioning so what should I do? I know, I'll turn my oven on and bake some cupcakes for my friends who are coming over. They were yummy and worth every drop of sweat. 

Seriously it is HOT!  We swim, go to Target, the bookstore anywhere there is air conditioning so we don't have to come home. I am sticky and sweaty and don't think I have peed for a week. I know this to shall pass but I AM HOT!

Sweet Peas

I wish you could smell these!

If only I could create the technology, I would be a wealthy woman.

Before & After

Before

After

I am not one for 'before' and 'after' pictures. The 'before' bothers me so much that's why I changed it. When I was going through old photos discs I found this picture of our hillside when I started planting it. The real 'before' was just a blank piece of mulched hillside. That is why no picture exists.  I could not stand to look at it.

We moved from Ohio back to my hometown more out of necessity than want. When we moved into my parents house our main goal was to make it livable. It was in a huge state of disrepair. We were going to fix it up and move out. My Mom was in a nursing home and later passed away. My Father developed Alzheimer's disease and also passed away. A strange thing happened. The house I always was embarrassed about became a house I was starting to love. The yard became my sweet obsession. My mom used to work out in the yard all the time and come in with scratches and be all sweaty. I thought that looked like misery. By the time I got in this house the yard was a blank slate. My dad had most things ripped out so it was easier to care for. I was like an unstoppable force. I had gardened at apartments that we had lived in but something about this place made me go nuts. Being out in the yard made me feel close to my mom. It took my mind off of all the other crap that was going on in my life. Some people drink, I garden (and drink). Now I come in all scratched up and sweaty and dirty and usually a much nicer person.

Too much time on my hands

Ella and I were picking veggies out of the garden this morning and we found this wacky carrot that looked like it was sitting down. So having nothing better do to I added eyes and started snapping pictures of it. Kurt and I found it much funnier than Aaron & Ella did. I am hoping for some more deformed vegetables for other photo-ops.