Wednesday, January 21, 2009

I want to drink my lunch

What a morning. Working everyday with kids who do not want to work is the most frustrating thing I've ever done. Mornings I deal with Middle School age kids who have been kicked out of school. Some days they work, some days they sleep, some days they want to talk sports and some days I am convinced their sole purpose is to drive me insane. Today was the day of insanity. The heat was on 85 degrees, I had a splitting headache with no aspirin. No one wanted to work or sit. When told to do their work or sit I was told I'm mean. Has anyone ever disciplined these kids?
The dean of students came down with a policeman to do a random search and talk to them about their behavior. One boy got in a screaming match with him and it devolved into a situation that I find hard to find words for. A grown man pretty much coming down to the level of a child and you could see the hate they both had.
Yesterday morning we were watching the preparations for the inauguration. I thought it would make an impact. They hardly cared. They talked the whole time and kept complaining they were bored. BORED!!!!! I can't wrap my head around that. Inside I wanted to smack them across the head and shout:
"You little shits don't you realize you don't need to be entertained 24/7! Don't you realize you are in this room because you make bad choices and your one step away from being kicked out of school altogether at the age of 14!!!! Don't you realize what you are watching is history in the making and you should feel proud and appreciative to be a part of it!!!

I want to be able to think I can help, to make some kind of difference, to be the calm they need in their life. The problem seems way bigger than me. I got in my van to go home for lunch and just cried. I am back at work with the High School kids and I could just hug them. They are quiet, do there work and are respectful. Why is that so hard for some. It's the question of the day.

2 comments:

Laura said...

I couldn't do it. I know for sure. I can barely stand my own, typical, annoying, rude children. But they are MINE.

You are put in that classroom for some reason. Hang in there...you may have already made a difference, and not even know it. You may NEVER know it. Just trust that you are doing good.

Debbie said...

Came over from Laura's.
What a job you have. You have my respect and admiration. And no, I bet they haven't ever been made to be respectful, be polite, or work. Isn't that why they are where they are?